March 25, 9:46 PM: the journey begins.
We've launched www.johnnoss.com, er, I guess I alone did that shameless self-congratulating self-promoting self-centered part of the story. But it would be all be lame and boring, like this, if it weren't for Jeff's funny. I've told him I'm stealing it, and it's true. I'm going to steal it and keep it, forever and ever, locked away in the interstices of this little website. But, for now, the Photos:

This is Jeff.

He's working on some graphic design thing, and I think it's going to be funny cause he keeps laughing at himself. Or maybe that's cause he's kinda funny looking.

March 25, 10:56 PM: the tentative schedule.

saturday - go to albany

sunday - noon - head to columbus
monday in columbus

tuesday afternoon head to chicago
weds night chicago

thursday morning back to columbus

friday drive to pittsburgh
lunch pittspurgh
friday night albany

head back up here on saturday?

March 25, 11:10 pm - john is hungry. Goes to find jeff, but discovers the door is shut. he knocks. loudly, cause he doesn't want to walk in on jeff masturbating. jeff is, in fact, sleeping. clothes on lights on computer sounds like an airplane's jet engine or four. jeff wants to keep sleeping.

11:30 pm - jeff finally decides to wake up, and we go out for something. might be hot chocolate, might be beer, might be felipes, we decide on beer, er, on appetizers, and beverage of our choice. we go to john harvards. jeff c alls caitlin to tell her he can't make his date with her. cause he's out with john. nyaaa nyaaaa. ps- jeff paid $26.

March 26, sometime before 3am - we both fall asleep, despite best attempts to get work done.

5:00 am - OK, so Jeff has some revisionist history he'd like to promulgate. he says he didn't go to sleep until 5am. do we believe him? do we not believe him? do we think his hair looks like pubes? we'll never know.

6:00 am - Jeff wakes up. damn short sleep you might say.

6:01 am - Jeff tries to wake John up.

6:02 am - Jeff decides on the 12:15 bus.

11:47 am - Jeff buys $2.50 of T-tokens.

12:14 pm - John buys $2.98 of bagels. Jeff had never had a blueberry bagel before. He says he'll have plain next time. They're a little bit fruity, and he's not a fan of that.

12:16 pm - we miss the bus. god dammit.

1:08 pm - We console ourselves with, uhm, possibly ashamed to admit it, Miss congeniality 2. John bought them, $14. what;s her name in oceans 12 is hot. oh my god that's michael vaughn. or, the actor's name is michael vartan. weird. jeff says he likes that girl, Amanda Peet. Jeff wonders if John has ever seen the whole nine yards - she has a good topless scene in it - but John didn't care, and thus he'll never know. . . Actually, now that john reads this, he does want to see the movie, so he will at some point get to see that girl, who turns out to be named Amanda Peet, topless.

1:40 pm - Jeff already hates the movie. John kind of likes it.

2:00 pm - John laughs.

2:01 pm - Jeff groans in pain.

3:00 pm - Jeff starts getting nervous that we're going to miss the 4:00 bus. But we have to stay and wait for her to go to public school #31, a monumental and life changing experience in the life of Gracie Hart, so we stay the re.

3:15 pm - We leave the movie, right after she goes to the public school, and it's all wonderful and about finding yourself, and not about the right guy, just taking those things out of your hair... all very uplifting and chees y and great. Jeff admits that it was a good movie, if you weren't looking for too much. John liked it. We go back to South Station for the second time.

3:30 pm - We decide to miss our third bus option of the day. the 4:00 had a stopover in springfield, and the guy didn't want us to do that. so we go to the deli that jeff had to skip on the way in... but it's closed. And Weggi e's Pub had no food. And the Best Bar-B-Q had nothing but meat. So we found Vinh Sun, which reminded John of Aeryn Sun. That's a reference to a really awesome but totally obscure tv show which none of you have ever heard of. Except for the fact that only blockeymates are likely to read this, and they've all been forced to hear jeff and john go on and on and on about what a wonderful show it is.... Anyways, Jeff got String Beans with Preserved Bean Curd and John got what he though was just a bunch of mixed vegetables stir fried, but in fact was a bunch of kale. So he was that rude idiot white guy, and had them take it back... that's the first time he's ever had to do that, and it's really kind of weird. weird. cost - $20.00 even, John paid.

4:30 pm - we head back to south station. third time's a charm... and we get on our fourth bus option. Tickets - $37.50 each, Jeffrey paid. Estimated time of arrival: 9:00. Sorry Jeff's parent's. It's all our fault.

5:19 pm - bus heads out of South Station. Our road trip has officially begun! Sweet.

6:30 pm - marion holmes, blockeymate for life, calls Jeffrey to discuss the possibility of her joining us!! they discuss. she must go discuss with parental units.

8:14 pm - marion calls John with news that parental units have confirmed her entry into the roadtrip! She'll be catching an 8:30 bus from Boston to arrive in Albany at midnight. SWEEEEEET. We advised her to bring some work to do, cause we want to spend some time reading and working and relaxing as such. We also give her strict instructions to write a detailed and funny trip log of her solo journey to meet up with us tomorrow. we'll see how good it is...

8:20 pm - we see a burning car by the side of the road. conversation with marion gets distracted.

9:00 pm - we arrive in albany. Jeff's parent's greet us and whisk us away to Grandmother's pie shoppe, where food, including a grande strawberry-rhubarb pie, was purchased. Quite enjoyable.

10:15 pm - Jeff's House, where we catch up with his dogs, Prince (still alive and kicking) and Daisy (a bitch to say the least) as well as with some Hamentashen (Happy Purim all, or as John says, Purim Happy!).

11:30 pm - Jeff attempts to boil water in order to make the Barnet's lack of hot water null and void with regards to the bath he has been waiting for for a long, long time.

11:45 pm - After numerous attempts, Jeff settles with a luke warm bath and shaves off his nasty, nasty beard.

March 27, 2005 - Happy Easter all!

12:30 am - John is sentenced to hell by Jesus Q. Christ for not even attempting to attend church on Easter. Marion is given an A+ in this department by the Holy Spirit, and as always, Jeff and his Jew-nose and pubic hair is we lcomed into G-d's bosom.

10:45 am - Jeff wakes up and helps Mama and Papa Barnet in creating a fantastic feast to please the eyes and tantalize the senses. Fake Bacon will make an appearance at said feast.

11:30 am - John wakes up and eats said feast. He was privy to one fake bacon strip, and after a rude comment was not permitted to any others.

1:03 pm - Team Noss/Barnet splits up to attend various events. John take a walk with Tateh Barnet while Jeff receives a haircut by Mammala. Both have good times. Editors note- Jeff's hair looks much much better. In fact, Jeff looks much much better after shaving off that narsty narsty beard, and cutting his narsty narsty hair. And Mammala Barnet is going into hairstyling!

5:30 pm - After a pleasant nap by all parties involved, Noss, Barnet, Barnet, and Sheber-Barnet head off to Indian food deluxe at . . .

11:29 pm - After a fastaaaaastic dinner at (insert hawaiian sounding name of the wonderful new indian restaurant) followed by a rousing night of TV at the Barnet Family Household (similar to Swiss Family Robinson but with more cute little doggies and desperate housewives killing each other and getting lice and doing the laundry in their jacuzzi... and some grey's anatomy with that girl, she's kinda cute, i guess; the sketch show showed some promise too) we began to pack up. Jeffrey gathered his pink towels and shower poofs, Mama and Papa helped make sandwiches and packed a goodie bag of yummy things, and little Johnny updated the website. Marion called, she's on the phone with Jeffrey right now. Jeffs parents suggested a morning departure, but whim held strong.

11:38 pm - We forgot to play Texas Holdem.

11:39 pm - The gas gauge doesn't work. But we'll check how much gas we put in after 300 miles, and then we'll know.

11:55 pm (plus a little bit) - We leave. Albany greyhound station, here we come! Imean, Columbus OH, here we come! Est time 9 hours 13 minutes; Est distance 609.76 miles. and don't even thing about forgetting the .76

12:04 - we leave.

12:24 - we leave the albany bus station - WITH MARION!!

a sidestory - Le Marion Le Trip Le fromBoston:

Sunday. 835 pm. Marion arrives at newton bus station to catch her 850 bus. there is confusion. marion almost goesto umass.but doesnt. instead she goes to albany. she sits next to a guy on the bus who gives her m and ms. yummy. tries to sleep but fails.

Monday 1205 am. marion arrives at the albany bus station. pees. is astounded at the culture. sits and waits for blockeymates.
1220. marion makes eyecontactwith fabled blockey johnnoss. johnnoss carries her bag. yesssssss.
1225. marion greets the black beauty and jeff. presents noss/barnet with newman os!!!! jeffy is not pleased. johnny is. Jeff begins drive.
1230. marion declares that the trip mascot shall be a stuffed pembroke welsh corgi. john ponders the assorted corgis of the world. namingdiscussions ensue.
1235. marion and johnny eat newmanos. jeffy doesnt. what a stupid head.
backtracking. 1234. jeff wants a cinabon.sometime...
1237. masterbation discussions ensue. declared "ok because were roadtripping"
12:57 am - the corgi is given both gender (male) and a name (master____)
2:10 am - John begins shift driving
3:23 am - After attending the Waterloo exit of I-90, Jeff asks for the corgi and instantly says, "Hello Mr. Pickles." The name is agreed upon and sticks. We get gas at a Sunoco station, and drive around it a couple times trying to figure out which side the tank is on. For future reference it's on the left. (upon first writing of this draft it was on the right until corrected by Marion).

(Wednesday 8:57 am - John begins updating the website for the first time since... since... Sunday? Wow. We suck. Anyways, here's the synopsis:)

Monday 10:00 am - we arrive in westerville. Johnny's highschool for life.

10:30am - we arrive at Johnny's House! We cook lunch (marion burns the frying pan a little bit but not much). We take naps. Mommy comes home, and we hang out. There is picking up buns, and grooming Whinny, and making friends with the cats, and mijbil. Whose name is mijbil guys, it's not that hard.

6:30 pm - Jeff eats too much at dinner (It's yummy yummy lentil soup), but doesn't complain, because we make fun of him.

8:00 pm - Noss, Noss, Barnet, Holmes, and Lightbody begin doing independant activities - this consisted of work for the more mature members of our party (P-A-R-T-A-Y-!) and planning travel arrangements for the next few days for the extremely immature among us.

10:30 pm - Amidst a very complicated planning session, Jeff falls asleep on Marion's bed, which Marion promptly kicks him out of. He somberly Murs to his own room and falls onto bed.

Tuesday 1:30 am - Jeff wakes up, in jeans and a sweater and socks in his bed. Sweating, he removes said clothing and goes back to sleep.

2:30 am - Jeff is awake and ready to start the day! He wonders the hallways to find what things need to be done, and sees a light in Johnny Boy's room. He knocks ever so lightly to be loudly chastised by one Mijbil, barking at the top of her lungs in protection of said bedroom. Needless to say, John feel asleep while attempting to study, and slept soundly through the loud debacle.

10:15 am - Marion wakes up and finds herself alone amidst animal friends. She greets Mijbil, Winny, and spends quality time with on feline Squinchy. She was casually inducted into the Hall of Friends that same morn.

12:28 pm - Jeff wakes up from a pleasant 14 hour discontinous sleep. After joining Marion and feeding Winny a couple of carrots, they proceed to wake up Johnny with the aid of one Mr. Pickles. Mr. Pickles was hurt in the process.

2:00 pm - After a pleasant brunch of lentil soup for some, cereal for others, we strapped up John's truck with a canoe, and NOT Black Beauty (racism exists people, and it starts with discrimination against people and ends with prejudices against certain colors and models of cars).

2:30 pm - We are at the resevoir (Hoover for all those interested in the cross-dressing lakes) and set our canoe to sail, Jeff in the bow, Marion in the stern, and Johnny boy sitting pretty in the middle. We steer into the more complicated realm of tree-dom, and navigate with only minor injuries (namely Marion's huge scratch on the leg). Attempts to ram into geese and kayaks were met with mutiny by the crew. We land upon an island and disrupted several nesting Canadian Geese before finally getting the hint to leave - the hint consisted of them squawking at us and accumulating in number to the point of mass attack on the humans. However, this was only after both John and Marion peed adjacent to an egg, most likely marking their territory and leaving a helpless egg without parents. well done guys, well done. And all it took was the death of an unborn life! What would Harvard Right to Life say to you guys? Think of Little Natalie! Just think!

5:00 pm - We . . .oy, too much stuff. To write in the futre - Bonfire, Chili, ants in her pants, the earth is good to me,

**Flash forward for a second**

Thursday, March 31, 6:53 pm - We're in the car, driving back to columbus. Wow we suck at updating the website. But it's not entirely our fault - this damn mac keeps crashing. And jeffrey had typed all the way up to breakfast this morning, and it came u p with the pretty little 'you must restart your computer now' screen. oh, so cute. OK, and nowtextedit keeps on crashing. piece of shit. OK, i take it back, it's not crashing, it's just hanging at the pretty little color wheel of death. i'm going to throw it out the window one of these days. Or maybe just break it's little color wheel legs.

this just in- marion call summer guy - 533-2281. but no area code.
apparently it's 800.

**Flash back to where we were**

Finally, returning to 5:00 pm, tuesday: tuesday: we escape the canada goose island, and return the canoe to the truck and return the truck to home. Then we take off for krogers to buy smores stuff and beer. But Kroges sucks ass, and won't take my perfectly valid till 2009 id, that just happens to be vertical and red. Damnitt. They agree that I'm 21, but just have some corporate policy. Mom even calls and speaks with Tracy, unbeknownst to me, but no avail. Us college kids who're not here on our birthdays simply get discriminated against.

5:40 pm - Meijers happily accepts my id and we buy beer. But not before really confusing the poor lady at the register - 'why wouldn't we accept that?'

6:45 pm - dinner is happily cooking, cornbread in the oven, chili on thestove with vegetarian taco crumbles. mom is suspicious. We kids go outside to cut some dead wood down and split some logs for as to make a better bonfire.

7:30 pm - dinner bell rings. we sing johnny appleseed 'o the lord',except marion knows it as 'o the earth.' perhaps it'd be better that way. anyhoo, we eat yumm yummy chile and cornbread, and then jeff eats the restof the chili. we make fun of him for eating too much and moaning about it, and he promises not to moan. but he does eat too much. claims it's because there's never good vegetarian food for him, so whenever he finds food he likes he has to eat a lot of it. ohhh, i ate too much guys, ohhhh i don't feel so good, i think i ate too much, ohhh, wahhh....

8:30 pm- we all sit around and rest our distended bellies. John probably does some stuff helping mom with the computers. Jeff takes a bath at some point in here.

9:30 pm - we go outside to make bonfire. straw bales to sit on, beer todrink (corona with lime, blue moon with orange, and killians. no citrusfor the killians; it feels left out) and smores to eat (fluff for kosherJeff). the fire lights beautifully (yay! thanks mommy and daddy for thereally awesome already laid fire, miraculously kept dry!).

9:49 pm - Jeff moans. marion and john make fun of him. he simply moans again.

10:23 pm - Jeff continues moaning and lying on the ground. he reports that his ass is wet.

10:34 pm - marion burns a marshmallow. jeff reports that it's going to give her cancer. she says she just likes them that way. john offers to do it for her, or to teach her how to do it the right way - yknow, so they're perfectly golden brown and warm and puffy the whole way through. but marion refuses. Apparently she's a stubborn bitch. oops did i say that? oops. I meant, i've got a really stubborn itch.

10:40 cassie, John's steamy ex, shows up and reports that jeffmc may ormay not come. stupid jeffmc. no beer bonfire for him.

11:17 pm - Jeff moans. reports that he ate too much for dinner. we all make fun of him. ohhh, i think i ate too much, ohhh...

12:00 am - Marion reports that she is tired, and is on spring break, so in short order she goes inside to sleep. jeff also reports being tired, and after a valiant effort to do something to the fire, he too retires, leaving old friends john and cassie the fire and a beautiful night to catch up.

2:00 am - john falls asleep on a hay bale. cassie reports that she's leaving for home. john naps on the haybale for a while after that, and then cleans up the mess and banks the fire for the night. he then goes inside and does a load of laundry, which involved waking jeff up (no small task) and finding out what laundry needed to be washed.

7:00 am - john wakes up at the first beep of his alarm clock. he puts the laundry in the dryer, gives mom anddad a hug, says have a greaaat conference to mommy, and then goes back to bed for two more snoozes. miraculously, he does not sleep until noon. something about the krogers dabacle. In order to prevent furthermake-us-feel-really-small incidents, he showers, shaves, eats a cookie and an apple, and arrives at the DMV(John says that this is also known as the BMV, but that reminds Jeff of Bowell Movement Vehicles, such asImmodium AD, and so it shall not be the primary name of the place) before they open. 7:55 am and john is out inthe world, facing the day. and it's a beautiful day - he gets rid of his vertical piece of shit id, and gets apretty blue one. no more getting rejected at krogers. not that there's going to be any more chances, as johnand john's family will never ever shop at krogers, ever again. discriminate that.

9:00 - jeff and marion are up, sort of, well, marion is. john runs around and tries to make breakfast - should we do potatoes? dad, where are the potatoes? and update the website - bluehost cooperating, it'd be a mean task, but given the ire of both direcway and bluehost it's nearly too much. jeff settles with lentil soup again. yum.

11:00 we're all showered and packed and the website is updated throughyesterday at 5.

11:05 we leave for chicago. estimated distance - uhhh, 400 miles? estimated time - 6 hours.

3:00 we stop at ice cream paradise in Lebanon, Indiana. john takes over after marion's i-owed-you-guys marathon four hours. marion eats a marachino cherry off of her lime froyo, and reports 'that cherry tasted like cancer'

3:10 pm - jeff tries to poop, unsuccessfully.

3:15 pm - jeff succeeds at the white castle. we all go in but nobody buys anything. despite being intrigued enough to go in, we are still kind of scared of it.

5:40 pm - we arrive at northwestern. it's a beautiful day, there are people playing frisbee on the grass, the campus is gorgeous; we decide to stay. or transfer. or do anything to keep from going back east to harvard.

6:00 pm - we arrive at Delta Chi. It begins to rain. Greg takes us up on top of some really cool building, andwe get soaked but enjoy the view. storm is really weird, and we were kind of freaked at thetop-of-the-building-during-a-lightning-storm. we then return to the house, throw all of out clothes into thedryer, and put on dry things and go to clarks for dinner. it has stopped raining.

7:40 pm - we order out dinner, and greg calls OJ to push back their section of the mcat review thingey. but he has rehersal at 10, and it's two hours... so, needless to say, we discover that it's actually only 6:40 pm. jeff and marion revel in this, claiming jetlag to explain their tiredness. greg admits to this being a valid excuse and they dance a hora around john's falicies .

7:45 pm - we're back in greg's room at delta chi. he goes to do mcat stuff. marion jeff and john pile onto greg's bed and read books. john reads The five people you'll meet in heaven. it almost makes him cry (read: it does but he won't admit it or show it) at the end when the guy meets the little girl.

8:32 pm - some guy walks past in the hall, then double-takes 'what the fuck?' at the two guys and the girl on the bed. we explain we're friends of greg's. that seems to suffice.

9:13 pm - some other guy walks past, then double takes in - he's dan, lives in the room next door. we chat. he tries to think of anybody he knows at harvard but fails. we feel awkward. but then he goes away.

9:55 pm - greg runs in to get music for rehersal. he'd have been there earler but he locked his keys in the room they were studying in and they spent 20 minutes picking the lock.

10:40 john falls asleep with his electronics book open on top of him.

10:50 john wakes up, states 'oops i fell asleep accidentally' shuts the book and goes back to sleep. jeff finds this hilarious and will talk about it the next day.

11:30 jeff wakes us all up and we pile into the car and drive down to he MAB. it is locked on one side, but not on the other. marion sees greg. we are early so we wait in the hall, at which point we hear greg scream at the top of his lungs at the peoplein the group, and we timidly shake in our boots. then we call greg and go into f15 rehearsal. they are funny. we enjoy very much listening to them. then we drive home and fall asleep in short order. greg apologizes for not being more entertaining, but he doesn't know that we're on spring break and are perfectly happy to sleep. and read for fun. cause we never get to do either of those things at school. ooh and we give greg the case of corona. it'll be for when he's done with mcat.

Thursday March 31, 9:00 am - we all wake up. damn alarm clocks, damn marion being a relatively morning person. greg readies to go off and do a problem set. we say thanks much to greg, and make ready to leave ourselves. he has given us directions to walker brothers, a sweet sweet pancake house.

11:00 am - it was a sweet sweet pancake house, and we wrap up the danish vegetable surprise and keep it for later. the banana pancakes we shared and the egg and hash browns marion got... ohhh soooo good. even the coffee was good! however, the danish garden thing does not smell quite as good five minutes later in the car.

11:20 am - we play onthe closed beach. somebody has opened the gate for us. we get sand for mommy. then we drive south to gwen's house. during the drive we pay no tolls and johnny reads the book of maps for fun. he declares that alaska gets the shaft, map-wise. it doenst even have its own page. it has to share with detail maps of arizona cities. blasted map discrimination. when will it end?

1 pm. we near gwen's house in Crown Point, Indiana. marion calls to get directions to the house. she cant really hear what gwen says but decides to just make it up. we are supposed to turn left on some drive...and how many roads are named something something drive?? it should be simple. well apparently in crown point ID everything is a drive. we get lost. and confused as to how to pronounce shererville. where i think gwen technically lives. we call lamenting our lostness...but are soon found, after slamming the breaks and making a left turn, and arrive at the casa gwen!!! the casa gwen is gorgeous. very well lit.

130 pm. mmmm food. delicious food. we meet gwen's mom, and some friends, one of whom is getting married. we are all secretly freaked out by the fact that this girl is getting married. but we keep mum. gwen's mom is o so proud of her italian heritage and has made a wonderful italian lunch. with homemade pasta sauce from scratch that she started the day before. and pasta. and salad. and the best bread ever. we are told that we should rub it in the face of rob varady that we had this bread. we are glad to take on the responsibility. we eat. marion is afriad of making some sort of huge mess. the house is so clean...and white...dont mess up ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! but thats just marion. she is also glad that her watched beeped before they gotto the house. because that might have been awkward. the preceding sentence may not make sense for many of our reades. but for those of who know what it means when my watch beeps you might find the humor in the scenarios i was running through my head as to what to do should the aforementioned situation arise. but i digress.

230 pm. gwen's mom and friends leave to continue baking for the bridal shower. we are free to express our weirded out itude about the marriage thing. we eat cake. oooooooo cake. wellesley cake. like where marion's from. gwen's favorite cake, even before she knew that there was a town named wellesley. where marion was from. chatting ensues. etc. we lament school. talk about the impressive/nonimpressive paradox. feel that we should continue on our way. but that would mean that we were heading back towards boston. noooooooo. we finally get around to leaving. gwen leads the way-she is going to meet up with her mom etc. marion rides with her. when we must diverge, the boys run up to gwen's car and declare... "give us all you marions!!!" marion is forcefully removed from gwen's car and placed in black beauty. goodbyes ensue. we depart for the highway. johnny drives. marion is shotgun. jeffy has declared that he must read his book and shant be disturnbed nor can he drive! we stop for gas. marion pumps. jeffy pees. johnny takes a long time in the bathroom. hes pooping. now we get on the highway.

3:00 pm - we do not stop by the dairy adventure.

3:45 pm - we do not stop by the ice cream paradise,and marion cannot eat
another cherry that tastes like cancer. nor can we go back to white
castle to go #1 or #2 as marion euphemizes, despite the enticing options
on the menu.

4pm we drive. thats pretty much it. nothing happened going to
columbus. it was singularly uneventful. ROADTRIP 4 LIFE!!!!!

10pm. we arrive at johnny boys again. marion has plugged herself into
her new ipod shuffle so as to avoid talking to jeff and john. as they
roll up there are some phat beats pumpin and she jumps out of the car and
immediatly starts shaking it. bum rubbing all around ensues. the three
blockeymates rub their bums on each other in a joyous dance. only marion
has the music though. the boys are just weird.

1030. we eat dinner. yesssssssssss. john's father has made split pea
soup. and SCONES!!!!! DELICIOUS SCONES!!!!! marion loves scones. they
all eat too much and moan. mmmmmmmmmm.

backtracking. 1029. we sing. ooooooooooooo the lord/earth is good to
me....jeffery actually knows the words. amazing but true. he manages to
refrain from saying "hail satan" at the end. good job jeffy!!!!

11. so sweeeeeeeepy. marion doesnt feel like being awake anymore. so
she sneds jeffy and johnny on their way and goes to sleep (o boy thats
where shes a pirate!) jeff goes to sleep too. johnny goes to visit
cassie (aforementioned old flame) at osu. what he does there will never
be known by any mortal...but he returns with an odd rugburn on his hand
which he speaks of elusively. and in tounges. weird. lesson: dont go
to osu. there are lots of drunk easy girls there. and no one wants
that!!!! righty-o. john returns around 4am. he will never be the same.

Friday April 1, 2005

9am johnnywakes uptohisalarm and goes backtosleeeeeeeeep.
before that.
830 am. marion wakes up. comtemplates her existence for a while. hears
johnnys alarm ring at 9. doesnt hear johnny move. figures he is a lazy
ass and has fallen back asleep. her suspicions are confirmed.

930 am. after adequate comtemplation/really having to pee, marion gets up.
she bangs mr pickles on johnny and jeffys door. they groan in a typical
fashion. johnny gives the illusion of getting up. but really just goes
back to bed. jeffy doesnt even feign getting up. marion declares a race
to the shower (o yeah shes totally clean already). this doenst help.
harumph. Breakfast consisted cereal for Marion and John, a soggy Danish
Pancake and apple pie for Jeff

11:00 am After teary goodbyes to Migbil, Winny, Sircingles and the rest
of our animal friends at the Noss family farm, we head towards Albany.

11:30 am John shows us Columbus, the real city, and takes us to all the
dorky sites, including Cosi (dorky science museum where he met the girl
of his dreams), Fifth-Thirds bank (dorky midwestern bank whose name
makes no sense), Johns old church (dorky church where that dorky
rabbi is worshipped), and Interstate 71 (dorky highway we're taking home).

3:00 pm We stop by one of those weird do-everything-in-one-place type of
rest stops where Marion and John get some subway subs and Jeff boycotts
them for not having russian dressing. He gets pizza hut again instead.

5:39 pm After not being able to get to a cinnibon reststop, we stop by a
random one and discover that a cinnabon lies not 70 miles away! Huzzah!

6:30 pm We stop by the Cinnabon rest area and Jeffjumps out ofthe car
before it stops - so excited! Cinnabon is exquisite! The finest food
around.

9:30 pm We arrive back in grand ole Albany at Jeff's house and settle
down. After a little relaxation and cleaning up Black Beauty (who ends
her leg of the journey for life!) we head over to 3 Sprague Street (how
the hell do you pronounce that!) to Harris Kornstein's House (Jeff's
friend for life!) where Harris impressed us all with his impromptu
Moroccan Stew (lots of curry! and goodness) and we brought some bread
provided by Mr./Mrs. Barnet. Jeff invited Harris to Pesach, Harris
accepted.

Saturday April 2, 2005

12:12 am Marion is dropping, and so we head out back to Jeff's house
where John and Jeff (and unconscious Marion) clean up Black Beauty from
all the trash inside of her (accidentally leaving Marion's cds). Marion
went to sleep, and Jeff and Johnny work on purchasing 24 buck train
tickets for the following day. Yah Amtrak.

1:25 am John and Jeff get ready for bed, Jeff begins his evening rounds,
and John heads off to do his evening rounds. Needless to say they are
both very different.

9:30 am Marion wakes up. Big surprise early tart (originally early bird
was written, but I think tart more fully surmises Marion's past. . .and
future).

10:30 am Jeff and Johnny wake up to the wonderful feast Mr. Barnet has
prepared for them.

11:45 am Papa aka Sanford Sheber aka Jeff's maternal grandfather arrives
on the scene and chats it up with the gang. Crossword puzzle commences.

12:20 pm Mom Barnet arrives from Temple services, wishes them all a fond
farewell, and then the scooby gang head out to meet the Amtrak train,
which just happens to be 15 minutes late.

5:45 pm Jeff and John purchase beers in the train. Who knew! A nice way
to end our journeys and woes (oh, so many woes!). The seller asks us if
we are 21. We say yes. He is satisfied.

6:57 pm - The fellowship endeth. marion hath gotten offeth at the
Framingham stop. eth. Her mom is to pick her up there. Tears well up
in Mr. Pickles eyes as they bid each other a fond farewell. This is
the first time that Marion has not slept with Mr. Pickles in a year.
Needless to say, both have slept with many other lovers in the past
year. Multiple times. With multiple people. Most of all though, Mr.
Pickles. That guys is a dog!

So long, and may angels send thee to thy rest Marion. In Wellsley.

7:45 pm Jeff, John and Mr. Pickles arrive in South Station. Thejourney
has ended, and Mr. Pickles is going to meet and get some pussy tonight
iin Jeff's bed!!! Jeff and John will sleep alone :(